Unexpectedly Expecting

The Adventures of One Woman's Journey Into Motherhood

Counting down the days

on August 23, 2011

I never imagined I would be sitting here at 39 weeks and 1 day typing a blog to update my unchanging status.  For some reason, I thought I’d be one of those to have a healthy, happy baby boy already here and enjoying spending time with him.  As you may be thinking, I do know that carrying this baby full-term is the best for both of us.  I just didn’t think I’d get here.  And as easy as this pregnancy has been so far, I never in a million years imagined that I could be so incredibly uncomfortable that labor and delivery seems like a relief that just won’t come soon enough.

So, here I am, awake too early again due to extreme discomfort and the inability to shut down my thoughts.  I have three choices… write a blog, keep trucking away at my never-ending list of thank you notes, or lay back down and try to rest.  You see which one I chose.

Patience is not one of my virtues right now.  So if I seem a little bit less than exuberant over this pregnancy, just forgive me and know that my joy has not left completely.  I’m honestly just tired, over emotional, and ready to hold my little boy in my arms and not in my ever-expanding belly.  Everything is ready to go, except for him.  That’s where I grow impatient.  Every day, I take my shampoo, conditioner, and other necessities for getting ready out of my bag and put them to use.  Then I put them back in my bag and wait for that moment when we leave for the hospital.  During the week, I take my stuff to work and put it under my desk, hoping that this day will be the last time.  It isn’t and the process is repeated.  Every day.

And yes, I’m still working because I don’t get paid unless I’m working.  I only have so many vacation days to pay for the time that I’m not working, and those will barely cover my insurance while I’m out on leave with the baby.  And up to last week, I’d been making my 40 hours weekly without having to use any vacation time pre-baby.  That all changed last week and hasn’t gotten better so far this week.  (I know it’s only Tuesday but I didn’t make it in until after 8:30 yesterday morning when I was supposed to be there at 7.)

I know, I know… so many people have been so encouraging saying they were on bed rest for the last however many weeks.  Or, and I love this story, one woman at work has told me numerous times how she was dilated 3 centimeters for 3 weeks and felt like the baby was hanging out of her.   (Why do people insist on telling these things??)  Everyone wants to know how much longer, when am I due, what’s the countdown, am I dilated, when’s my next doctor’s appointment, etc., etc., etc.  Honestly, I just want to stay home where I know I don’t have to answer questions anymore and can wait for him to come.

In the grand scheme of this pregnancy, two weeks does not a pregnancy make.  And I’m really going to try hard not to focus on the last two weeks to gauge how I feel about being pregnant.  Again, I’m just frustrated and ready to start the next stage of life with our little guy.  Even Joel is not as excited about feeling him move all the time.  Things have just changed and we’re ready to have him here.

All of that aside, I do have an updated 3D picture that is pretty funny.  Depending on how well you can interpret these images, this one makes our son look like he already has a goatee.  I have to admit that he looks just like his dad, which is not surprising since the Spencer genes are super strong.

I posted both because they’re kind of scary up close.  But the second one really looks like a mini-me of Joel.  This was just last week when he weighed in at a whopping 6.5 lbs.  He has a little belly and is apparently measuring at an average length.  All vital signs are perfect and the doctor is thrilled with where we are right now with the pregnancy.  As of last week, I had not progressed at all in dilation.

I go back to the doctor today for another round of ultrasounds and to find out if I have progressed at all.  Just to be honest, if she says that nothing has changed, I’m just going to be super frustrated.  Of course, I have no right to be since we have prayed multiple times that the baby would come at God’s time and not ours.  But I’d really like to have normal feet and ankles again.  I’d love to lay down and sleep on my back, in my bed, without any extra pillows for support.  The couch has become my permanent home and looks more like a sleeping bag than a couch.  Even as I sit here typing, I can feel my ankles and feet swelling because of sitting at a desk chair.  That just means that they’ll keep swelling until I get home tonight and can put them back up where they stay every night.

Did I happen to mention that patience is running thin for me right now?

Week before last, they had a shower for me at work.  I was, and continue to be, super surprised at how many people gave us gifts for the baby.  I mentioned the never-ending list of thank you notes because they keep trickling in from all places.  We’re getting them in the mail, in parking lots, from Joel’s customers, and they keep appearing on my desk at work.  I’m proud to say that I’m caught up to everything received up to Friday of last week.  I’m just struggling to get more than one done a day.  😛

So here’s a few pictures from that shower.  (Please note the size of my feet/ankles in the one picture that I allow them to be seen on here.)

They really did it up for me!  Renee’ and several others brought food and decor to make it a really special party.

Renee’ and I share an office.  She was behind all of the decor for the party, including the cupcakes (which were yummy).  She gave us this piggy bank for the baby’s room.

And only a group of nurses would come up with an outfit like this one.  I just had to share it.  🙂

We haven’t taken any pictures recently because of the way I’ve been feeling.  I have little spurts of energy and feeling good but they’re generally short-lived and taken up by getting things done, like folding clothes that hadn’t been folded for over a month.  I told someone the other day that I keep trying to get that one last thing done that will open the gates for his arrival.  I’m not sure what that one last thing is, but I’ll keep trying.

If I sound discouraged, please know that it’s only because I’m ready for him to be here.  Truly I am.  I know my life will never be the same and that this is “easier” than him actually being here, but I’m ready.  I don’t have all the answers and I know I won’t when he comes but I can’t figure all of that out with him inside my belly.

On a side note, we finally have a name.  We would have loved to have shared this with everyone personally and not via this blog, but sometimes that’s just not possible.  And the list of people wanting to know when he arrives is getting longer by the second.  As I have mentioned before, we’ve had several names floating around that we felt like might be his.  This past week, I was feeling so bad one day, Joel said that we had to narrow it down to one.

Noah Daniel Spencer.

We will call him Noah, unless we decide at the last minute to change it at the hospital.  Please don’t get anything monogrammed or written in stone until we have it on the birth certificate.  I am reserving the ability to change the name once I see him for the first time.  🙂

As you might imagine, this may be the last update until his arrival.  I honestly hope so.  But if something doesn’t change dramatically, I’ll try to post again soon.

As always, thank you for your continued prayers as we plow through this last stage.  They are very much appreciated and welcomed.

3 responses to “Counting down the days

  1. Harriet says:

    (((((Kristin,Joel,Noah))))) I love you guys!

  2. "Aunt" Winola says:

    What a BEAUTIFUL NAME!! Thank you for the complete blog today. Honey just remember, this anxiety, uncomfortableness and all that you mentioned is in GOD’s wonderful plan of Birth! HE wants you to focus on having that boy and not the pain of having that boy. I do believe it’s working. 🙂 I believe the other part of the plan is when you lay those gorgeous blues on him, the anesthetic of the moment is released and you forget the pain anyway. So with that said, just remember if it hurt all that bad, there would be very few babies born in the world and all couples would have only one! Kristen, your blogs have been glorious and so appreciated. Alton and I love you and Joel and continue to keep you, Joel and Noah in our prayers. He’s probably so ready to get out out of those crowded conditions as well. Cute little guy and I can’t wait to see him! GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU CLOSE AND MAY YOUR FEET BE NORMAL SOON!!!! Next time choose the coldest month instead of the hottest! ha,ha,ha,ha……it has been a rough one for you I’m so sure. Hang on sweetheart it’s just around the corner. and…..you are to be commended for maintaining a job under these conditions. Woo Hoo Kristen!!

  3. "Aunt" Winola says:

    PS. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! Can you only imagine how Mary must have felt carrying Jesus? I do believe, during my pregnancy was when I felt the absolute closest to GOD. Writing this response has made me feel the presence of GOD! Thank you for that. I love you.

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