Unexpectedly Expecting

The Adventures of One Woman's Journey Into Motherhood

2 months… already?

on October 21, 2011

Hard to believe that Noah will be two months old tomorrow.  Didn’t we just leave the hospital???  I truly don’t know what happens to time each day.  Joel and I have often commented that we hit a time warp that revolves around feeding Noah.  Before we know it, a whole day has gone by and we haven’t left the house because we just didn’t realize what time it was.  I always have great intentions of getting out each day.  There are people I want to see, places I want to go, things I want to do.

Let’s take today as a for instance.  I got up around 8’ish.  After feeding Noah, it’s time to feed myself and Joel.  I had plans to make grits but they ended up not going well, so that was time and grits wasted.  Noah spent much of the morning in his swing, giving me both hands to take care of other things.  Joel ended up fixing breakfast while I changed Noah’s diaper (again).  After eating breakfast and spending what seemed like five minutes cooing with Noah, it’s now 10:45 a.m.  With Joel off to work and Noah sleeping, I could take the opportunity to take a shower.  But that might be cutting it close to his next feeding, depending on when he gets hungry, which is pretty unpredictable right now.  (I don’t take fast showers yet.  I still enjoy the time too much.)  🙂

So here’s my dilemma… do I shower now and get out at lunch?  But then I might not get back for his nap, which I am really trying to maintain some consistency.  Plus, with his off and on eating schedule, I never know if he’s going to want to eat in 2 1/2 hours, 3 hours, 3 1/2 hours.  Those are his general ballpark times.  He stayed awake more this morning than he has so far, so maybe he’ll go for the 3 1/2 hour mark.  But after that, I never know what he’s going to want and when.

I know, I know… it’s okay for him to cry and okay for him to get fussy at times.  I agree, at times.  However, I can’t emotionally handle him crying much still.  And it’s hard because he’s starting to really communicate with smiles and giggles.  So I want to be with him and play with him when he’s awake and playing.  And then he becomes all-consuming.  I’m okay with that, but I keep being reminded to take care of myself when he doesn’t need my direct attention.

A rhetorical question… one which I will need to figure out… but how does one balance it all?  I mean, I want to spend time with him as much as possible.  He is a sponge right now, taking in everything.  I want to be a part of that.  I know I am already, just with being at home with him.  I am just trying to figure out how to get on a schedule that fits best for all involved.  And maybe I’m rushing things a little.  I guess I just know I have such limited time right now with him.  I want to do as much as possible before I have to go back to work.

Which is another issue I’m really struggling with.  When I told my boss back in January that I was pregnant, the first thing she asked me was if I was coming back to work.  See, at that point, I had just started my new position in December.  And I wasn’t emotionally attached to Noah, so I said yes.  And up until midway through the pregnancy, I still felt that way.  But then God began changing me.  I never thought I would be one of those women who would cry at the idea of leaving her baby.  I never thought I would have an issue with going back to work and things going back to a new normal.  But I’m learning that God has a different way for our family that goes against everything I thought about myself before.

So when I say I’m trying to cram everything in before I have to go back, what I really mean is that I’m praying that I don’t have to go back.  Financially, it’s impossible for us to live on Joel’s income alone right now.  We don’t live above our means, by any stretch.  But we do have financial obligations that, without Noah, would not leave us financially strapped.  Most of them are medical bills from Joel’s stroke and my pre-pregnancy and pregnancy bills that were before my deductible was met.  I’m praying and believing that God will provide a miracle of some sort.  So far, we have done so well financially with me not working.  We haven’t had to dip into savings hardly at all (if at all).  But with winter coming, we have to be reasonable in thinking that Joel’s work might not do as well.  Although God can provide consistency there as well.

I’m praying that I won’t have to go back to work at all.  However, if I could find part-time work or work-from-home type work, then I would be interested.  We don’t need much.  And God has more than enough.  He knows our hearts’ desires.  Funny how that’s what God revealed to us while I was pregnant.  God knew our desires greater than we knew our own.  If asked, we would have said that we didn’t desire a baby.  But God knew that this desire was so buried within us, we didn’t even know it existed.  And now that Noah is here, we’re finding out there is so much more that God has for us than we ever imagined possible.

So now it’s 12:15 and I still haven’t showered.  I did break to feed Noah, change his diaper and his outfit (again), and put him down for a nap.  I have two hours… and I still need to feed myself.  Funny how this cycle never wavers.  🙂  Funny more how much I love it!

Surprised.  Shocked.  Awed.  Joyful.  Exuberant.  Thankful.  Weary.  Grateful.  I can’t describe how much I love being with my little boy.  He has spit up on me twice today and I don’t care.  His poo leaked out of his diaper again and I’m okay with it.  He cried being laid down for his nap for the first time today and I gave him his silky to sleep with.  (He’s now sleeping like a baby (ha!) with the silky by his side.)  I’ve had more issues with feeding him than I could name but I don’t see any other way… and I’m okay with that.  I’m exhausted, stinky, a little lonely, but it’s all okay.  I could think of no other way I would want to spend my day, except to have Joel here with us.

I’m in love… and I couldn’t be more surprised.

I can’t believe I almost forgot to mention the important stuff!!  Noah has officially graduated from newborn diapers into 1’s.  Woohoo!  And, he just started wearing 0-3 clothes this week.  I’m putting stuff aside that he can’t wear anymore!  Yippee!!  Finally, he weighed in at a whopping 9 lb. 3 oz. two weeks ago yesterday.  I can’t wait to see what he weighs next week!!  That’s my boy!  🙂

As promised, I am providing more pictures along with links to some videos that Joel has posted of our growing son.  If impressed, please pray that God will continue to provide for us as He has already done.  We greatly anticipate seeing the work of the Father’s hand in this area of our new normal.  🙂

Once we got this great tub from our friends, and we realized how to bathe him, Noah loves to take baths.  He can sit in the sink and look out the window while we wash him.  He loves looking at the sky so it’s a win-win for everyone!

Noah has just started to play on his playmat.  He gets really excited and throws his whole body into the fun!  I love the noises he’s starting to make!!

We ventured out and went to an orchard up towards Clayton one day.  We had a great time!

Joel insisted on getting Noah his first pumpkin.  We haven’t gotten it carved yet, but hopefully we will soon.  I think this is a great picture of my men!!  🙂

I didn’t think this was too bad of a picture of me.  🙂

Noah’s latest interest is seeing everything that’s going on.  And he loves to stand.  So Joel and I both try to “exercise” him every so often to let him stretch his legs.  Noah’s still not keen on being on his belly, as I tried again this morning… but that will come.

I love his little face in this picture.  This is the carrier that we bought early on in the pregnancy.  I finally figured out that I can use it with Noah.  He’s still a little unsure of it, but we’re getting by.  🙂

A personal favorite… this is on our desktop.  🙂

My little giggling boy.  He’s really starting to smile!

Noah says, “Woohoo!  Another meal down!”

Oh yeah… here’s my GQ baby!  Tell the ladies that he’s not available… he loves his momma too much.  🙂

There are currently 4 videos on YouTube that Joel has posted.  Here’s the link to the current one:  YouTube.  If you would like to see the others, be sure to view the ones posted by “desh412”.

One response to “2 months… already?

  1. Janet Bush says:

    Hey Kristin~
    Great stories! Thanks for keeping us informed on Baby Noah and his milestones. As a kindergarten teacher, it is easy to see why my students begin school so self centered 😉 They have been the undivided center of attention for the entire family for 5 years! Now It is my job to teach them that they can’t all be first in line and first to answer etc.

    If you want some advice on schedules call or FB Jackie! She is a master at this. When they arrived last spring, she took a large section of our family prayer board and wrote the boys schedule from wake up to bed time and announced that was their schedule and they would be sticking to it. It worked like a charm! Children thrive on consistency. Their schedule was wake up/breakfast/dress/outing/lunch/story/nap/wake up/outing/dinner/bath/story/bed. Wish you two could be FB friend b/c she and Brian post so many funny stories about the boys and their growing spiritual lives. Anyway – sounds like you are doing great and motherhood agrees with you! We are so happy for you both. Love you. Janet

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