Unexpectedly Expecting

The Adventures of One Woman's Journey Into Motherhood

A little forgiveness is requested

on June 25, 2013

Somewhere in the middle of 21 and 22 months, I’ve decided to give myself a little room to just be me.  I’m not going to be one of those moms who spends all day at a computer and loses time with her precious little one.  There are plenty of those kinds of moms out there, trust me.  That’s just not going to be me.

I say all that to say that I’m still going to try to post monthly updates, but I may not be able to each month.  Noah is getting more and more active which is requiring more and more of my time and attention.  Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s challenging keeping up with the house and Noah at the same time.

I’d also like to confess several things.  First, I’m not perfect and never have been.  I’ve never thought I was, per se, but I really don’t think so now.  I am still learning and growing as a person, a wife, a Believer, and a mom.  And I pray that I will always continue to learn and grow in this life.  As I get older, I see more and more evidence that I am not who I once was and I am not the person I want to be.  I’m always somewhere in the middle.  Thankfully, I have a wonderful Father who is very patient, always kind, and loves me for who I am now and who He sees I’m becoming.  I also have a wonderfully kind and patient husband who is very supportive of me and my many moods.  He is the best father Noah could ever have and the most incredible husband I could have ever imagined for myself.

Second, I’m not defined by what the world sees or says about me.  I am who my Father says I am.  If that doesn’t meet someone’s expectations, then I’m sorry but you’ll have to talk to Him about it.  Of course, I will do things my own way at times, deviating from the path He desires of me.  But my first and foremost goal in life is to please my Father.  I don’t do that often enough and that has to change.  If I desire to see Noah walk in freedom in Christ and know the Father better than He knows us, then I have to provide that example for him now so he can walk it on his own one day.

Third, I’m learning to be comfortable in my skin.  For almost my entire life, I have been severely afraid of what you think about me.  It has strangled me.  But it is losing its hold on me.  Fear has long been an issue for me, but God freed me several years ago from a deep-seeded fear of just being.  Recently, I was made aware of this other kind of fear in my life.  I’m sorry to say that it was so paralyzing to me that I would have rather let someone lose their life than to do something others would use against me.  Horrible, I know.  But with the lie of fear residing in a place of Light now, it can no longer hide out in the dark space I had made for it.  God’s transforming me again.

Fourth, the past two months have been the most challenging months of my life.  Without delving into details, my parents are going through a divorce after 48 years of marriage.  You would think that at the ripe age of 40 I would be able to handle this like an adult.  I hate to admit that I feel like a little kid most of the time, just wanting it all to go away or to all go back to the way it was when we were all happy.  Either way, as I sit here and cry over the loss I understand that Christ is ultimately in control of my life.  Although we have the ability to make choices that don’t always coincide with His Word, He is always going to be there to guide us back to His path for our lives.  We may have to go around a mountain ten times before we learn our lesson, but His patience with us is certainly more than we could ever hope to understand.

Interestingly, Abba Daddy saw what was coming long before I did and knew what I would do and need during this time.  He knew that in my praying for certain things with my family I actually needed these things in my own life.  He has shown me who I am in Him and who I’m not in this world.  I honestly can say that I never imagined that praying for something for someone else would actually change me.  But His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.

<Whew>  I’m glad to get that off my chest.  Now the pressure is off and I can just be who I am, right?  Well, I’m getting there.  🙂

In the land of Noah Daniel, a lot of changes have taken place recently.  First, he is now peepeeing on the big potty.  Woohoo!  Don’t misunderstand me when I say that because he is NOWHERE NEAR potty trained!  (I just got home from the grocery store where he had peed out his pull-up and all over the cart cover.  Didn’t know this until I pulled him out of the cart.)  But, we’re making progress in the right direction.

Second, Noah has started running all over the place.  And I don’t mean a soft little jog but a full-out run.  He’s so cute when he swings his arms around.  Just this morning he was running around in circles on the front porch.

Third, we are very excited to say that we are (hopefully) going to leave him with some friends of ours over the next couple of months.  Seems that we might need some parenting skills and the videos are 16 hours long, I think.  So we have some sweet friends who are gracious enough to keep up with little man while we go get ‘schooled’ for being parents.

Let’s see, what else… Noah’s now famous phrase is “nuh uh” while vehemently shaking his head.  He generally answers “no” to everything except food-related items like snacks, waffles, and then of course, outside.  Just recently, he’s started trying to say “yellow” so, again, progress is being made.

Since my last update, we spent a week in Virginia at the farmhouse we love.  It rained for the first four days we were there, except for a half day on Tuesday.  The break in the rain allowed us to venture out to Grayson Highlands and hike up to the AT.  We saw our ponies there and enjoyed our time while there.  Interestingly enough, there were two guys with guitars strapped to their backs hiking up at the same time.  They were being videoed and recorded, so we decided to talk to them.  Turns out we were meeting the Okee Dokee Brothers from Minnesota.  (Grammy-award winning artists for children’s music or something like that.)  Anyway, that was pretty cool.

The rest of the week, we enjoyed just spending time together.  We ended up extending our trip so Joel could get some much-needed fishing time in.  Thankful that he did because he ended up catching a ton of fish on Friday, which always makes him happy.  And a happy dad makes us all not sad.  🙂

I was recently interviewed by a vegan blogger in Austin.  You can check out that interview here:  http://www.thelittleredjournal.com/2013/06/kristin-adopting-plant-based-diet-after.html.  I was super humbled that Kelsey would want to include me on her blog.  I’m very thankful for the opportunity to answer her questions.  It was really fun!!

Oh and I’ve been on a winning streak as of late.  I enter all of these random giveaways online and I’ve actually won several things.  I won a gift certificate to an online company that makes personalized growth charts for kids, a ballistics bag for Joel (that we sold since he’s so not into guns), some Sprout toddler snacks, 6 boxes of Kashi cereal, and a Bob Revolution SE stroller worth around $400.  I keep entering so who knows what I may win next.  🙂

Well, I think that’s enough for now.  I’m going to try to post pictures this time since I didn’t last time.  Looking forward to heading down for a family visit in Florida soon.  Guarantee that many tales will come from that trip!!  🙂

Love some PB&J sandwiches!!

Love some PB&J sandwiches!!

A visit with Aunt Hetty is always interesting!!  :)

A visit with Aunt Hetty is always interesting!! 🙂

Reading with Grandmommy.

Reading with Grandmommy.

See my belly?  Just checking.

See my belly? Just checking.

Pretty flowers and a beautiful boy.

Pretty flowers and a beautiful boy.

Listening to stories at Jubilee's super cool pancake and pajamas party!

Listening to stories at Jubilee’s super cool pancake and pajamas party!

Having fun at Jubilee's birthday party.

Having fun at Jubilee’s birthday party.

Joel being silly with a frisbee.

Joel being silly with a frisbee.

Eating corn on the cob for the first time.  Loved it!

Eating corn on the cob for the first time. Loved it!

Grandpa getting his turn reading to an avid book lover.

Grandpa getting his turn reading to an avid book lover.

Tadaa!

Tadaa!

Did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

Happy Anniversary Mommy and Daddy!!

Happy Anniversary Mommy and Daddy!!

Grandma reading one of Noah's much-loved books.

Grandma reading one of Noah’s much-loved books.

Grandma and Grandpa enjoying a visit with Noah.

Grandma and Grandpa enjoying a visit with Noah.

Giving Daddy a kiss kiss.

Giving Daddy a kiss kiss.

Cafe Intermezzo... what more needs to be said?

Cafe Intermezzo… what more needs to be said?

The Artmore hotel in Atlanta was our landing spot for our date night away from Noah.  Ahhhh!!!

The Artmore hotel in Atlanta was our landing spot for our date night away from Noah. Ahhhh!!!

Looking at the moon one night before bed.

Looking at the moon one night before bed.

My beautiful boy!!

My beautiful boy!!

Enjoying the outdoors before the heat wave!

Enjoying the outdoors before the heat wave!

Did I mention that I love getting dirty and wet?!

Did I mention that I love getting dirty and wet?!

Noah was in awe of the falls at Toccoa Falls.

Noah was in awe of the falls at Toccoa Falls.

Having fun with the other kiddos at Toccoa Falls.

Having fun with the other kiddos at Toccoa Falls.

First professional haircut... Yay!!

First professional haircut… Yay!!

Did you see that?!

Did you see that?!

Just too cute for words!!

Just too cute for words!!

Giving Mommy some much-needed alone time while in Virginia.

Giving Mommy some much-needed alone time while in Virginia.

Love riding on Daddy's back while we hike!

Love riding on Daddy’s back while we hike!

Daddy being silly in Virginia.

Daddy being silly in Virginia.

The Okee Dokee Brothers photobomb our pictures.  Ha!!

The Okee Dokee Brothers photobomb our pictures. Ha!!

I love rocks and water!!

I love rocks and water!!

Fishing with Daddy

Fishing with Daddy

Tallulah River

Tallulah River


2 responses to “A little forgiveness is requested

  1. Labeth says:

    Kristin,
    Thank you SO much for continuing to send me these updates! I just love seeing Noah’s pics and being able to keep up with you. Since I am no longer on fb it is hard to keep up with folks.
    Please know that you are in my prayers. I can identify with some of what you posted today 🙂 Since this is not exactly a private message :), I will keep it short. I am re-reading a book I originally read in 2001, and it is really, really good. It is called “Living Fearlessly” by Sheila Walsh. Her style of writing is open and honest and up front. I think you will like it. Also, I think you will like a blog I subscribe to called handsfreemama. You can find it at http://www.handsfreemama.com She has such neat posts about giving attention to your kids and not your technology. Update me on your current email info so that I can send you a private message sometime. 🙂
    Thanks
    Labeth

    • hrt4desh says:

      Labeth,
      I was thinking about you the other day and even checked FB to see if you had reconnected. Seeing as how I didn’t find you, I figured you were still offline. 🙂

      Anyway, you can email me at heart4desh at yahoo dot com. Would love to correspond with you, as much as possible considering the challenge to stay connected while being disconnected. (Does that make sense?) And I really appreciate the blog suggestion. I found one that’s very similar at SarahMae.com with some great ebooks and other advice that seems helpful.

      Thanks for responding to my blog!! I love knowing that others are reading and maybe even relating to my words. 🙂

      Kristin

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